Life is like a coin
by GoldenCompass17
Summary: Life isn't fair, whether you're privileged or not. Something happens that flips your whole world upside down and you have to start from rock bottom and work your way up the ladder to make everything better again. My sister Callie always tells me everything will get better, but that's a lie Every coin has two sides, you either end up living a grateful life or one not so much
1. Chapter 1

Life is like a coin

Addie Kendall Jacobs

Theme song: Two Steps Away-The CO

Chapter 1: Life is like a Coin

Life isn't fair, whether you're privileged or not. Something always happens that flips your whole world upside down and you have to start from rock bottom and work your way up the ladder to make everything better again. That's what my social worker says at least, but to me it's a bucket of lies. Every coin has two sides, you either end up living a life full of terror or one with positive outcomes. At least you can flip it right, you'd say. The problem with that is...my coin is taped with the good side down.

The autumn leaves have finally begun their coloring phase, changing from their lush green color to a vibrant orange. It's always been one of my favorite seasons just because my mind can focus on the little details that the world offers in this time frame. And when the leaves fall to the cold ground, it comforts me to know that I'am not alone.

It's been four months since I've seen my family; it's hard to think that I'm living a thousand miles away from them. I don't understand the point of me being transferred out to Colorado when there are perfectly good group homes in California. Then again, I' am messed up entirely. My throat became tight as I think about the true reason I' am here. The tube that was once securely tucked away inside my body had been tugged and pulled out partially by my last abusive foster father. I was bleeding out and choking, Jude had to call the emergency number. You would think they would believe me about all of this, but the entire police squad saw me only as a sick girl crazy enough to pull out my life support. I was taken out the house and brought to medical care before being transferred here. Jude from what I've heard is all alone still as Callie is locked up in Juvie.

My time is almost up though; I have two more months of treatment. I' m still not at my weight limit, fifteen more pounds till I can leave. It feels like an eternity to be honest, I came here at merely 80lbs and have reached 90lbs which is not a whole lot, but for someone who is 5'2'' it is. Old clothes Callie gave me that she wore when she was ten years old fit me. I'm almost fifteen.

But today is different. I'm going back to California. I was diagnosed by doctors a few months ago for anorexia. It all began when I was nine year old when i was also sent away for my ptsd and depression i struggled with. In the group home for girls like me i became unattached and soon started to purge everything that was given to me, I lost thirty pounds in that month. And then after three years my social worker Bill caught on to my actions and placed me here. However life just never goes right for me and now I have to leave. Sure, I want to leave, but I also want to get better to get this dumb feeding tube out of my nose. However nothing ever comes easy, the system can no longer pay for my treatment, leaving me to figure out how to survive on my own.

Great.

"Adeline Jacobs?" A rusty voice called from behind me. A plump old lady with a black fluffy jacket had her head peaked out the glass door, "Would you come inside dear, we have your paper work for the bus ride."

I stand up and pull my long Navy Blue pullover down and hoist my large Grey Jansport backpack over my shoulder. It was merely 50 degrees here, a little too cold for a Californian like me. I had my on my favorite pair of black leggings with grey socks and brown boots. I'm pretty basic, only because I don't have a lot of clothes.

As I push the glass door open a gust of warm air brings me to my senses, allowing me to observe my surroundings. Ms. Deed stood at the front desk holding a badge and packet of paper including a duffel bag full of my extra belongings. It was only a basketball, two sets of clothes, and my soft grey-blue blanket from my mom. They were the only things that I couldn't fit in my medical bag on my back, which was full of my formulas that I was to eat on strict schedules.

"Alright sweetheart, as much as I love to see your face I don't want to see you back here as a patient," the old woman said. She was very cute, the only person other than my doctor to talk to me, "Come visit someday,"

I nod.

No words have come out of my mouth since the day my family was taken out of good foster home. It just feels right. That night definitely made my top 10 of 'the worst things that have happened to me' list.

The bus has arrived and the doors open. Ms. Deed quickly clipped my name card and ushered me out to my social worker at the bottom on the bus stairs.

Bill, he was a nice guy but he was too occupied in his obsession of the baseball and court appointments to find a time to help my little family. "Hello Adeline,"

It's Addie. I hate when people call me by my full name, it's the name my dad gave me.

Six hours into the bus ride everything felt calm and peaceful. It was a crowded bus full of juvenile detention transfers and foster children like me, but somehow everyone just seemed to be quiet. I've been reading my book for school and sleeping the entire time, not bringing any attention to myself. My hair was now up in a messy bun and my boots off showing my fuzzy grey socks. Looking across the aisle to my left a young girl around the age of Callie was drawing on her legs. The marker was as dark as her hair and seemed to trace all the scars that covered her pale legs. It makes me sad to see people that cope that way, but then again I do have problems too.

I didn't realize I was staring till she made eye contact with me. Quickly I drop my head and turned to look out the clear window, bringing my knees to my chest. The night sky was black like the girls marker with dancing blue stars that shined brighter the more I stared. My mom taught me how to read the stars, Callie too. I'm not allowed to know anything about my family, only to know where they are located. It scares me to know that my little brother is all alone and my sister is in a cell. What's going to happen when I get back? Am I going to see my siblings or am I not able to be put with my brother? I want to see my family.

"Adeline?" A voice called to me from the front of the bus. Reaching for the end of my blanket I pull it up over my shoulders and walk cautiously to the front of the bus. My eyes were almost shut as it was around midnight. Finally I make it up to the front to see Bill lying down with his phone to his face. I pat the seat to catch his attention.

"Hey kiddo, the bus driver said were getting off in about an hour so I suggest you collect your stuff to be ready," He said, "You're going to be staying at your previous house alongside your brother."

My mind went blank.

No please no.

I knew something wasn't going to be right when I go back. I was wrong, I think my coin in super glued not just taped.


	2. Chapter 2

Life is like a coin

Addie Kendall Jacobs

Theme song: Two Steps away-The CO

Chapter 2: Jude

Bill and I got off the bus not too long after he notified me of the time. It was around 1:30 am and I didn't feel the least bit tired as I felt staring out the window of the bus. A car was parked not too far from the bus stop; it was white with a dent on the side-Bill's car. I never understood why people would want to become social workers; it's a stressful and time wasting job. Bill could be at home right now with his own family, but no he has to be out this early with a dumpster kid.

Yeah dumpster kid-it's a name one of the boys called me at the group home in Colorado. It just kind of fit in these kinds of situations, it's better than being called a mental patient for sure.

The lights of the city of San Diego shined through my car window. Bill isn't talking; he's annoyed for sure probably. I wasn't supposed to come home till January and now he has to organize my files so I have a place to stay. The stars are not as bright out here as they were in the mountains, but that's ok I can always go to the beach later in the year to see them.

This car has been my transportation for the past 9 years alongside my little family. It still smelled of bleach and orange car fresheners. That's all I want to focus on, I can't think of Callie or Jude. But before I knew it I was at my foster father's house. The lights in the living room were on, he must be watching his dumb game show. I shake off my anxiety that was slowly coming upon me and drag myself up to the front door with Bill following on my tail.

I stand and stare at the doorknob. I couldn't hear that Bill had asked me to knock till he did it for me.

Anxiety and fear was now enveloping me.

All of the strength I had to walk through that door flowed out of me, leaving me weak and vulnerable.

My foster father comes to the screen door, "My sweetheart, how are you," he faked a smile towards me. Opening the screen door a little more Bill edged me inside leaving me alone in the small hallway. Nothing had changed, everything smelt of bleach to knock out the smell of alcohol and cigar smoke.

The car began to back out of the drive way.

My eyes look up to the man who gave my family hell. His grey hair was pushed back with a little gel and his face needed a shaving. The thick grey shirt was getting too small for him and had a yellow stain on the collar. His dark eyes glared down upon me like the night he attacked me.

Where is Jude?

"You look like a piece of shit," my foster father muttered behind me, "go upstairs before I make you sleep outside," His voice rattled my brain. The tone was harsh just like every abusive foster parent we've had-rough and stern. Quickly, I pick up my bags and head down to my room that I shared with Jude.

Hesitantly, I knock on the door; it was cracked a little allowing me to come in.

And there was my little brother.

Jude was sitting on Callie's old bed with my old sweatshirt in his hands. He was in a old red striped shirt with dark jeans. His white shoes were covered in dirt and the laces tangled.

"Addie!" he softly exclaimed with tears of relief in his eyes.

Our foster father must have told him I was coming.

He pulled himself up and embraced me. I could see the fading of a bruise right below his left eye. He didn't look the same, his hair was longer and his figure seemed thinner than before. But I couldn't do anything, or speak of it either. The grey Texas Tech sweatshirt falls to the old yellow stained carpet. It wasn't even mine, I found it in the lost and found when I was 5 to hide my bruises on my neck.

"I'm as tall as you," Jude broke the silence. I look at the top of his head, it was true, he was a mere inch taller than me. To make the situation a little lighter I smirked and he returned a smirk with another hug. The last time he hugged me like this was when he tried to pull me away from the medical staff the night before I was transferred. He wouldn't let go for the longest time till he was pried away by the police. That was a night that surely made our situation worse-especially now that the foster system has documented this into my profile. Well there goes my chance of staying with my family when we are moved to another house. But I'll get into that story later.

I yawn and rub my eye with the sleeve of my sweater. Jude look down at me and rubs my tube that stuck to my cheek-he always did that I really don't know why. But before I knew it I had a blanket wrapped around me and was urged to get into Callie's bed with him.

Sometimes I wonder how I'm older than him. In the past three years he and Callie have matured so much to help give me the care I need. Jude was still a little kid, but he always made sure I was cared for. Then it was my turn, whenever our foster father beat Callie or Jude, I would be the mature figure to give them the protection they needed. Of course it never turned out well for me; I would end up sleeping outside on the wooden porch-Or sent away.

Slowly I set myself on the spring sofa bed and take of my boots, then pull my sweater off and replace it with an over-sized grey t-shirt and shorts. Jude shuts off the lights and we both get into Callie's old bed, it was largest. We all usually slept together in bed to make sure nothing happened to each other. We've been to many homes to know that.

Laying my head down on the pillow I close my eyes and wrap my arms around the pillow under me. Jude smelled terrible; he must not have been able to shower this week. I flip myself over to not breath in his stench.

Sometimes I wonder why this system is so messed up. Why we are still stuck with this guy? Why didn't we go somewhere else after Callie left?

It hurts that no one had the money to help me finish my treatment, I feel so alone. Nobody at that group home offered to give me any financial help, only criticism for being a foster kid-dumpster kid. The tube taped to my cheek began to itch and I scratch at the tan colored tape. Luckily my doctor here has willed to continue my formula till I gain my minimal weight.

But that doesn't matter anymore. All that matter is that I have a piece of my family again. To think that I've been gone for four months-Four months Callie has been in Juvie and four months of Jude suffering all alone. Of course the coin of life is going to do something, but we don't know.

All I need is my big sister.

I miss her loving embraces and words that kept me going. She keeps Jude going with her strength, even if he isn't good with words like me. Without Jude I' am nothing and without Callie we are both vulnerable.

We are just too weak.

We need Callie.


End file.
